She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
