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Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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