at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Shame - the story of my life.
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