I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
