Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
