Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
