i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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