drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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