it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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