if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
