JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
