My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
