I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
