you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Randomize
