You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
