Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
