ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
