I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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