Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
