Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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