I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
