8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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