I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
