i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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