Pappa wants mamma naked
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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