I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
