So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
