I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
