just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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