I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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