Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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