i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
