My room smells like vodka and shame
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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