TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We had to coat check the pizza.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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