hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My breasts were aching with rage.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
