a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
