we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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