I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
