i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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