So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
wow bdsm is so cute
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
