What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
