is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
