No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
