so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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