Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
