I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
