He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
