I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
