I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
