There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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