Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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